I'm sure why I'm writing, I just felt a need I suppose. This last week has been hard for me. Right now I'm living so far away from home that I was unable to attend the funeral and it's been tearing at me. I want to tell myself that this a nightmare, that tomorrow I'll wake up and everything will be right with the world. It's all been a cruel joke, and they're sorry they ever said the words. But tonight I've realized it, it's finally hit me. She's gone. She who should have lived forever. The one that who never intentionally hurt anyone and apologized profusely if she accidently offended you in the slightest.

I know I shouldn't be asking this, but why? Why her? Why not me? Why was I pulled from the wreckage unscathed and a matter of weeks later she faced the same ordeal and did not survive. I don't understand... I need some help, someone help me accept and understand this. Help me go on. I need someone to hold me, to ease these terrible empty aching in my heart. I'm so lost and I can't even begin to think of finding a way out again. I'm crying... I'm bawling so hard right now. I have been for hours and it doesn't look like it's going to stop any time soon.

I need comfort... please call me, anyone, just give me a call or write an email. I feel so alone, so cut off. I'm so afraid...