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Why do you choose your pain
If you only knew
How much I love you, Love you
I won't be your winter
I won't be anyone's excuse to cry
And we can be forgiven
And I will be here.

He says when you gonna make up your mind
When you gonna love you as much as I do
When you gonna make up your mind
Cause things are gonna change so fast
All the white horses are still in bed
I tell you that I�ll always want you near
You say that things change my dear

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The Recap Part Four - February 11, 2003
Tuesday, Feb. 11, 2003 at 11:51 p.m.
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Okay, so it all ends here. Er� I mean, the slacking off. I have decided that tonight I will do the entire January recap and catch up with the first part of February. This has been dragging on forever and I know that I�m going to have to do another recap next week so I want to get these out of the way. If these next few entries are a little incoherent or seemed rushed it�s because the probably are. I just need to get them done so they may not be very high in quality. Right then, off we go.

What I got for Christmas

Every year my family draws names to figure out who gives who gifts. This is due to my having a large family and it being difficult for us to buy or even make everyone gifts. Especially now since the family has expanded so much. The point of that was so I could tell you that I drew my brother Dave�s family, which was very convenient on my part. Being the movie hound that I am I got them two DVDs. I tried to find the two that they had wanted for a while (Matrix and Gladiator) but it seems as though quite a few other people wanted those as well. Instead, I ended up getting them National Lampoon�s Christmas Vacation and A Christmas Story, which are their two holiday favorites. I also got individual gifts for each member of his family. I got pajamas and slippers for each of the kids and the Sarah Evans CD �Born to Fly� for Maddie. Dave had been mentioning for a while that he needed the U2 CD �Boy� and then his collection would be complete. Being a huge U2 fan myself, I willing obliged and gave him the CD for Christmas and he seemed very pleased with it.

My brother Rob drew my name a he went all out (must be because he has a sugar mama now). He gave me a book of daily thoughts, a BoM calendar, and the Singles Ward DVD. Not bad considering the past years has been filled with dollar store gifts from my brothers. Many times those gifts doubled as jokes of some kind. I actually missed those things though, this being my first real Christmas away from home and family. There were so many traditions I missed; so many little things that just make holiday whole for me. I can�t help but wonder who received the Christmas brick this year. I also missed the mad rush I have with my friends around that time of year. There are so many things I miss out there, even for it being a hick town.

My Grandmother on my father�s side is an artist, a very talented one at that. This year she painted personalized pictures for everyone and had them framed. Well, almost everyone, myself being the exception. I got a store bought angel candleholder. It�s very beautiful but it lacks the �just for me� feeling that everyone else�s had. Yes, I�m selfish, I�m very aware of that. I just wanted to be like everyone else for once in my life. She did paint a greeting card for me though so I guess I didn�t miss out entirely. Dave�s family gave me a white turtleneck. I�m not sure I�ll ever wear it but it was a nice gesture.

Stephanie sent me a beautiful necklace, rather expensive too. (Bad Stephie!) It came with a long apology letter, explaining that the gift was more expensive than usual because she hadn�t sent me anything for my birthday. I felt guilty because I still hadn�t sent off her birthday and Christmas gifts yet. I still haven�t done it. I�m really slacking in that department. She knows I love her anyway. *hogglehugs Stephie* Anyway, it�s a heart-shaped necklace with crystals lace along one side. I mentioned already that Marie gave me my birthday and Christmas gifts when I visited back in October but I never mentioned what the Christmas gift actually was. It�s an amusing little plush Spider-Man key-chain. It�d be even more amusing if I had keys to put on it.

Now for the �Santa� stuff. I must have been a good girl this year because Santa was extremely good to me. Now before you say anything, I am not spoiled, well not really. I�m spoiled in some sense but not this way. I�m just an extremely good bargain finder and was able to make the check Santa gave me go a long way. I was able to pad my LOTR action figure collection very nicely with the previously mentioned discounted Fellowship figures at K.B. Toys. I actually got two free figures, the Orc Overseer and Newborn Lurtz, which I probably wouldn�t have gotten if I had to pay for them. I got the Gandalf, Saruman, Samwise, and Gimli figures along with the Gimli/ Uruk Hai double-pack. I was able to purchase the remaining four figures in the twelve-inch collection. So I now have the entire set. It makes me feel rather special now.

I know some people think collecting action figures is childish but I really don�t care. I enjoy it and it gives me something different from the norm to do. I could have gotten so many more figures if I had gotten in on the scene earlier but it took some consideration on my part. Being a serious collector can be difficult because things get expensive the more in demand they are and many collectors will �kill� for their figures. If you�re going to be a serious collector you have to purchase every figure from every series. This includes the not so desirable Uruks and orcs. There was also the little problem of not being able to find any of the figures back in the western states. Which meant catalog orders and those are always overpriced and padded with outrageous shipping charges. So those were a few of the reasons I had to think over taking up collecting these. In the end though, I decided that it was something I wanted to do. And while my collection is far from complete and much smaller than many people�s, it gives me a nice feeling of satisfaction knowing that it is mine. Something of my very own that I can work on.

Er� I�m not sure if that made any sense or not. Oh well, I guess I�ll just get on with it. This year my music club had an 80% off holiday sale so I was able to get quite a few CDs that I had been wanting. Eleven to be exact, actually it turned out to be nine because I decided I didn�t want two of them. So I ended up re-gifting them to my younger brother. While he�s probably going to give the Fear Factory: Concrete CD away, he�s very pleased with the Nickelback: Curb one he received. The nice thing about this sale is that I was able to replace my Enya CD-Rs of Watermark, The Memory of Trees, The Celts, Paint the Sky with Stars, and Shepherd Moons, thereby making my collection legally complete. Naturally, I got �The Two Towers� soundtrack. It�s absolutely stunning! I had to force myself not to open it before Christmas, which ended being a very difficult thing to do. I also got Scarlet Pimpernel: Encore, the Gladiator soundtrack, and New Found Glory: Sticks and Stone. So I�m a music junkie, deal with it.

Last not certainly not least, I got three very nice books. The Two Towers Visual Companion by Jude Fisher; The Two Towers Movie Photo Guide by David Brawn; and The Making of the Movie Trilogy by Brian Sibley. All of which are follow-ups to the books I received last year. Yeah so my Christmas list isn�t all that exciting but I was very pleased with it.

New Year�s

I brought this year in with a bang� well not really. I didn�t do much, which is very unusual given my new years history. I had a free ticket to The Two Towers so I went with Maddie that afternoon. I drove to Toys r Us before meeting her and picked up my Moria Intelliblox. I now have that whole collection as well, very nice. While I was in the checkout line I discovered Fellowship chocolate bars. While I�m not a big chocolate fan, I am obsessed with all things LOTR so I had to pick up one of each to send back home, plus a few for myself. The movie was a lot more enjoyable the second time because I had forced myself to forget my expectation. But we were sitting on the second row so that put a damper on things.

After the movie we went to the neighbor�s house for a get together. It was mainly just food and talking. I went home early so I could call my friends. Steph was sick so she stayed home for New Years Eve. We talked for a while but then her mom wanted her to do something or another so we said goodbye. I called Sara and was delighted to find that she was actually home for once. Her family had decided to celebrate at home this year and so I was able to have a good chat and catch up with her, which was very nice. The rest of the night was spent in Wattos while the kids watched a movie on the couch. Not very exciting I know, but so goes my life.

Thus concludes this portion of the recap. In the next one I will cover the wedding and other important January events. And if I have my way there will be an entry covering my newest projects and undertakings. So until our paths cross once more, adjo and take care.

.:Love:. .:Pain:.