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Why do you choose your pain
If you only knew
How much I love you, Love you
I won't be your winter
I won't be anyone's excuse to cry
And we can be forgiven
And I will be here.

He says when you gonna make up your mind
When you gonna love you as much as I do
When you gonna make up your mind
Cause things are gonna change so fast
All the white horses are still in bed
I tell you that I�ll always want you near
You say that things change my dear

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Random Chaos
Wednesday, Jul. 23, 2003 at 3:42 p.m.
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Mercy me, I stink. And definately not in a good way. Have just finished workout in extreme desert heat. I should prolly take a shower but I'm too dead to do anything but just sit here. Then again, stinking isn't all that bad if you're the only one home. And if Cindy is right, Stinky People will one day rule the world. If that's the case, I shall definately be a high ranking government official. Oh, the possibilities.

It's time again for a new layout. I had thought on a Jack Sparrow/Pirates theme but as I have caroused my usual reads, I've discovered quite a few of those already. While it's really nice eye candy, I just can't bring myself to to it now. Once something becomes a trend it is nowhere near as appealing to me. I can't explain why as I really don't understand it myself. So, now I shall have to find a new layout theme. Until then, you may enjoy the loveliness that is The Butcher.

I had a thousand things to cover in this entry and they've completely slipped my mind. Shite. I guess I'll just cover some randomness that's been in my mind through out the course of the day. Power to Phoebe! (She amuses me greatly.) I could have sworn that I was the only person in the world to dislike Woody Allen until I read her entry today. That man just has some serious issues he needs to deal with.

Rive stopped by last night, completely out of the blue. I was in the front yard watering the lawn (and trying to get this black lab to stop humping my leg, but that's another story) when he pulled up. I don't think I've ever squeed so loud in my life. Nevermind that he still won't leave his wife for me, I lurv the guy just the same. He had to be in town for some business (well really a few towns away) ::jabs brain with a stick:: Stop interupting me! Anyway, he's staying with Sara Marie's aunt, or rather, he was staying with her since he was only here for a night. Bah! I'm serious brain, stop that! So the whole point of the story is that he stopped by, I squeed greatly, we sang, he won't leave his wife, I'm still single. Gah! Now it really wasn't so hard to let me tell the story before you interupted was it? ::mumbles under breath::

It was good to see him again, it's been a while. In a somewhat related randomness. I've been dreaming about Fry lately. It's really kinda weird because I hadn't thought about him in well over a year. Then Jayni mentioned him at Becca's wedding luncheon and now I've been thinking about him constantly. Maybe I should try to contact him but I really have no idea where to begin. Ooooooo a popsicle, don't mind if I do. I'm not sure how he'd respond to my contacting him, I know he's always felt kind of weird about my dating his brother. Egh, once again I hate how completely complicated relationships are. I am a firm believer in arranged marriages.

I was talking with Steph last night and she pointed out that nicknames seem to congregate around me. After thinking about it for a moment, I realized she's completely right. It seems as though for every two people I know, I have a different nickname. Some of them are very fitting and greatly welcomed while others I have no ide why I have them or where they came from. We did a little tracing and came to the conclusion that Jack is my oldest nickname. I picked it up when I was almost six, though, it was originally Jac. I tacked a 'K' on when I was prolly seven because for some reason people were phonetically pronouncing it as JayCee. The 'K' seemed to clear up that problem.

Steph found it amusing that for a brief period in our sophomore year I was known as Captain Jack. I had to giggle as I had forgotten about that. It came about as result of someone mistakenly calling Becca, Mister. So she became Mr. Becca and we all followed suit by appointing similar nicknames for each other. Prince Sara, Boss Steph, Queen Heather, Duke Jayni, King Nikol, Viceroy Aleca, Master Angie, and of course Captain Jack. It amuses me how life can tweak itself just tad in order to keep you entertained.

I could go on forever listing my known nicknames but I actually was saving that for when I finally get around to making my About Me page. Along with having a million nicknames myself, I also have nicknames for practically everyone I know. After an hour of acquaintance I rarely call anyone by anything other than a nickname imposed on upon them by myself. There's very few people I call by their given names. The closest would prolly be Marie and even then I call her My Marie. Sara quickly became Sam, Becca became Joe, Steph became Monkey, Noelle became Wellie, and more often than not I refer to Crystal as Ani. It's kinda weird how it all falls in to place. Makes me wonder if my kids will actually ever have a set name.

Yesterday I looked fabulous, today however, is an entirely different story. But yesterday I was delicious, Rive said so himself. I belive his exact words were, "If I wasn't married, I'd shag you rotten right here and now." Yesterday I would have shagged me too. Now don't get me wrong, I'm far from being conceited. It's just that it seems that all the planets aligned, the gods agreed, my mindset and body seemed attuned. The result: my being unaturally good looking (a far cry from usual ::smacks brain with 2x4:: grrrrrrr) for a brief period of time. It was actually quite nice to look and feel good for a change.

Holy mother of Yoda! Bed of Lies... ::turns up volume:: Awwww, that's more like it. Mmmmmmmmmm single serving popcorn in all it's buttery goodness. Crikey! That's bloody hot... my poor fingers and mouth. ::murders all involved in the Pop-Secret corporation:: There, much better. I'm so sore, between exercise and work, my body is taking a beating that's not used to. Oh well, so goes life. I am determined to stay fit. I'm not on a diet, that'd be just daft. And I can't afford to lose anymore weight anyway. I'd just like to be able to run for more than three feet without feeling like I'm gonna die.

Egh, I only have seven hundred cds to go through in order to locate some images for a client. Such a pain. After much discussion and thought, I've decided to take up design again. Hopefully then, I will only have to work part time so I can keep the job when I start school. I've decided to be so gracious as to resign the current name Le Jinxed so that Sara might use it for her production company. I feel it's only fitting since she did indeed help come up with the name and she's far more attached to it than I ever was. I put a great deal of consideration into choosing the new name and after the process elimination, I have finally settled on what I feel to be the perfect name. (Thankees so much to everyone who gave me suggestions and all others involved in the process!) And the name... drumroll please... ::crickets:: ... ::silence:: ... Fine then, just be that way. The name shall from this day forth be Burn it Blue Design. Once my checkcard gets here and I get another paycheck, I'll be registering the domain, more than likely it'll just be burnitblue.com. Or some slight variation. After that I'll be all set and should hopefully have a "grand opening" within the next month or so. Just as long as Julie Taymor doesn't decide to sue me. I lurv you Julie!

I've decided to sponsor Notre Coterie in Blogathon 2003. They'll be blogging on behalf of The World Wildlife Fund. This is dually important to me as I shall be supporting both Sisters and My Babies. By My Babies I mean tigers. I don't think there's any creature more dear to my heart. For as long as I can remember, I've be fascinated by tigers. While I adore Bengals, it is the Siberians that are the dearest to my heart. I know that it's unlikely my donation will go directly to the tigers but I'm happy just to support an organization that endeavors to better the wildlife situation. ::pulls out electric cattle prod and calls Evil Demon Pygmy Monkeys�:: And if you know what's good for you, you'll choose to support Notre Coterie as well.

Well, I haven't much else to say at this moment so I guess this is the end. Just remember, "Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long and in the end it's only with yourself." All my lurv. Adjo and take care.

.:Love:. .:Pain:.