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Why do you choose your pain
If you only knew
How much I love you, Love you
I won't be your winter
I won't be anyone's excuse to cry
And we can be forgiven
And I will be here.

He says when you gonna make up your mind
When you gonna love you as much as I do
When you gonna make up your mind
Cause things are gonna change so fast
All the white horses are still in bed
I tell you that I�ll always want you near
You say that things change my dear

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January 27, 2003: The Recap - Part Two
Monday, Jan. 27, 2003 at 10:00 a.m.
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Note: This was originally started on January 7 so a bit of it is out of date. Also, my layout is still a bit wonky so I must apologize for that.

The Recap � Part Two

So I lied when I said that I would have my next entry up in five minutes. I write these entries and then for some unknown reason I forget to post them. I really must see if I can get a brain upgrade, this one is rather shot. And it didn�t even take very long to wear down. Really, the quality of products is somewhat lacking as of late. Anyway, here is the second part of the many recap entries. >.< I need to stop slacking so much, it actually gives me less free time which is the complete opposite of what I was going for.

Needless to say, I was sore for about a week or so afterward and had many wicked migraines. But I was actually very grateful for them. Every time I was about to complain about them I took a deep breath and reminded myself that it could have a been a lot worse than it was. That being said I can now get on to my holiday section of the recap. Yay! Well actually, I should probably cover my birthday first.

My host family took me out to dinner on the night before my birthday. (Saturday December 14, the day after the accident. I almost didn�t make it to my birthday, gah!) We went to Red Lobster, yummy! I actually didn�t eat very much and felt bad that they spent money on me because of that. My host mom said not to worry about, that we ignore prices on our birthdays. She�s ever so kewl. They gave me a really nice new coat, it was originally supposed to be a Christmas present but I got it early since my other coat was stained so badly from the accident. Before dinner we went to Toys r Us and I got my first glimpse of all the uber kewl TTT stuff. Okay not my first glimpse but I got to see a lot of the new stuff. And after dinner we went and walked around a mall where I made a most fortunate discovery. Fellowship action figures at discount prices! I didn�t have any money at the time but I made a mental note to come back.

On my birthday they let me sleep in far too late. I don�t think I got out of bed until 2 p.m. or so. They made me a tasty dinner, lasagna with all the good stuff including breadsticks. My family called me and I got to talk to all my siblings minus one who thinks he�s to good to remember my birthday. Not really, he�s just very busy. So I spent a good deal of time on the phone with them and got caught up. It was rather nice and I�m looking forward to my next visit home.

Unfortunately though, I did not receive a single phone call or even an e-card from any of my friends. This resulted in my pouting almost the entire following week. It�s a rather harsh blow, especially since I had just been involved in an accident. But even before that I had sent all of them an email with my number and my calling card codes so they didn�t have to pay for anything. I know they�re busy but they could have taken just one minute of time, is that too much to ask? Anyway, I�ve already forgiven them so it doesn�t really matter. I�ve found that I forgive them much quicker since I moved out here. I guess it�s because I miss them so much and don�t really have any friends here to fall back on.

I guess I can write up a list and share with you what I received for my birthday. Besides the coat, my host family gave me TTT Gandalf and Legolas action figures, and a nifty neck pillow since I have trouble sleeping if my neck is not supported properly. It�s nice because I can use it pretty much anywhere and will be perfect for the plane. Marie gave me my birthday present back in October when I flew back home. It was both humorous and thoughtful, comfy flannel lounge pants and a Ralph Wiggum poster. I haven�t told her yet, but the jam pants are men�s so I have to walk around with the crotch open. Heh, but it�s okay, they�re nice pants. My family sent me a psychotic singing teddy bear. It really freaks me out even though I know Mum picked it out with love. They also sent me a check, which I used to buy a pair of shoes, some nail polish, a movie (The Thomas Crown Affair), a few CDs (Josh Groban, Jekyll & Hyde, and The Scarlet Pimpernel), and the rest of the first series TTT action figures (Faramir, Easterling, and The Gondorian Ranger). I think that�s about it, if I forgot anything I�ll mention it later.

So I already mentioned in another entry that we went to Disney World for Christmas break. Now anyone who knows me at all knows that I have a bit of a problem with the Disney franchise. Don�t ask me why, because it�s very hard to explain. There�s just something about Disney that gets my blood pumping in a not so good way. That being said, I actually had an enjoyable time. Mind you, this is only because I decided to ignore the massive amount of merchandise that was only two feet away no matter where you stood. It was quite hard to do but I think I did quite well, especially if you consider how many stores in the various parks my host dad dragged me to in search of the Tinkerbell wand and the perfect hat for Baby Sweet.

Our trip started out on Saturday December 21, which was mainly spent driving down to Orlando. I don�t remember much other than eating at Arbys, that could be because I was topped off with Dramamine and sleeping aids so I slept most of the way down. (Oh yes, I must mention this. The night before we left, I didn�t sleep at all. It was partially because I always have trouble sleeping before any type of trip, and partially because I stayed up to watch Fellowship special edition with the cast commentary. Absolutely hilarious! I highly recommend it.) I also slept through most of Sunday December 22, because we didn�t have any real plans for that day. Okay so I only slept until noon. I ate breakfast on the little patio/balcony while watching an alligator in the pond below, which was interesting. I also watched the Kraken for a while because our hotel was very close to Sea World.

Later, I took the boys shopping while they tried to get Baby Sweet to take a nap. When we got back from our little excursion we went down to the hotel�s pond/lake? and rented a couple of paddle boats. The boys got a flamingo and I chose a swan shaped boat because it reminded me of Galadriel and she kicks bootius maximus. That night we went to a restaurant called Houlihan�s which was very good. After dinner we went to FAO Swartz, which was both uber kewl and very disappointing. I know it�s supposed to be one of the world�s best toy stores but any store that charges more than list price for LOTR merchandise gets a black mark in my book. So the only thing I ended up buying was overpriced Haribos raspberry and blackberry gummies.

Monday December 23 was spent at the Animal Kingdom. I don�t know what it was but I was somewhat bored at this park. It could have been due to the fact that we spent 80% of the day in Dinoland U.S.A. alone and ate at a very overpriced McDonalds for lunch. The highlight of the park: the Lion King show, but only because it had a Polynesian fire dancer. Oooooo perty fire! We went to Downtown Disney to eat at the Rainforest Caf� but they had screwed up our reservations (curse them!) and it was a two-hour wait, which we just couldn�t handle with three grumpy kids. Instead we went back to our hotel and ordered pizza from the in-hotel Pizza Hut. Before we left Downtown Disney we went to the Lego store and let the kids play around for a while I bought stocking stuffers for the boys.

Tuesday December 24 was Magic Kingdom day. Now I almost take back the comment about being bored at the Animal Kingdom because I was sooooooo bored at Magic Kingdom that it was almost painful. Scratch that, it was painful. Let me clear up something for those of you who have never been to Disney World, the Magic Kingdom is almost identical to Disney Land. If you haven�t been to Disney Land then I really don�t how to explain. Just keep in mind that if you frequent Disney Land it gets really old, really fast. Anyway, I�m getting sidetracked, back to the real story. So I was bored and on top of that it rained. It didn�t just rain though, it poured, gallons of water, like walking into a tidal wave. Okay so I�m exaggerating but it did rain a lot.

We sat in the rain for two hours, drenched to the bone, foregoing lunch, just so we could catch the Christmas parade. I eventually gave in and bought everyone overpriced rain ponchos. My host dad had run to the car to get something (lunch, umbrella? I really don�t recall, anyway it really doesn�t matter) and while he was gone, host mom gave his poncho to a couple of Asian teenage girls. Now I know it was Christmas time and I should have been in a giving mood but I was just a little peeved that she had given away two cents worth of plastic that would have cost $3 (at most) in any regular overpriced store but because it had Mickey on it cost three times as much. Mainly because I had purchased it with my own money, which once again, anyone who knows me at all, knows that I do not have a lot of. (You think I�m over exaggerating? Just think of how much you�d make in one month at minimum wage. That�s how much I make in a year.)

Gah! Sidetracked again, I really must stop doing that. Anyway, my host parents reimbursed me at the end of the day so I guess it all worked out okay. The highlights of this park: I got to try a turkey leg while waiting I line for the Haunted Mansion, mmmmmmm yummy! And the Country Bears Christmas show, remember when that type of robotics was cutting edge? You don�t? Oh you poor young cheeky monkeys, I really do feel sorry for you. We went out to dinner that night but I don�t recall where, all I know is it was good because it didn�t make me sick. We finished off the evening by opening the traditional gift Christmas Eve gift. (We only brought two gifts with us because we decided to would be too hard to conceal the Santa gifts from the kids). I opened the one that my parents had sent me, a simplified hymnal, greatly appreciated. Baby Sweet got a cute new outfit and the boys opened the Faramir and Legolas action figures I had given them.

Wednesday December 25 started off with our opening our second gifts. This gift was from Rogue and was a beautiful, handcrafted dream-catcher and a couple of pictures of his son and himself. You know what? I think I�m actually gonna start a new entry now because this one is getting to be rather long and I know I�m gonna write a great deal about the last few days of our trip. So, adjo for now, I�d like to say that this next entry is going to be up very shortly but I can�t promise anything. I guess I�ll see you when I see you. Make sure you wear your seatbelt or I�ll have to come beat you.

Verse of the Entry

I'm broken, but I'm still alive
And slowly I will feel my soul revive
With time, I'll find a way to right this wrong
If it takes my whole life long.

.:Love:. .:Pain:.